Do you have questions about minimizing the impact of a divorce on your children? Read this article to learn more, then call our lawyer today.
How to Make the Pain of Divorce Less Painful for Your Children
Most parents of divorce don’t want their children to suffer because of a divorce, but it happens far too often anyway, often through unintended acts or consequences. Here are some of the things you can do to minimize the impact of your mistakes on your children:
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Start a New Relationship with Your Ex
This doesn’t mean you should try to reconcile. It simply means that you should acknowledge that the way things were wasn’t working, and that way is over. The reality is that you’ll have to be in relationship with your ex, if you are to see your children at all. Accept that and work to fashion a new relationship that doesn’t dwell in the past, but allows you to work cooperatively in the best interests of your children. It’s a health experience for your children to see that, while you may not be able to live together anymore, you can still get along.
Consider the Potential Impact of Everything You Do
Often, the most painful or difficult things that divorced parents do are the least intended. For example, because you love your children, you may be inclined to tell them, as they leave for the other parent’s house, that you “miss” them. Though this may be intended to communicate your love for them, it may be read as communicating that you will be miserable or unhappy while your child is gone. Consequently, your child may spend much of their time with the other parent worrying about you. And they may fear that, if they have a good time with the other parent, it will be seen as not properly missing you.
Always Be Clear In Your Communications
Not knowing is almost always worse than knowing. Your children will experience more anxiety if they don’t know what’s going on than they will if you simply tell them the truth. There’s not always a need to go into detail. That may be a discussion you have when your child is older. But if you don’t give some answer to your child’s questions, they will try to find answers on their own. Most of the time those answers are wrong, and often they lead your children to blame themselves for what happened to your marriage.
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